We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
whose ass print is on the piano?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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