You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
