I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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