I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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