dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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