And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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