4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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