that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
