It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
