so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
