Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
