He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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