So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
