And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
