this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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