Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
