Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
