I like to think it a success when the cops are called
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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