how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
