So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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