i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
