The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
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