dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
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