So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I can't put those talents on a resume
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
