Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
