I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
