She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize