You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
