he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
