i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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