I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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