apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
