Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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