you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
