Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
