Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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