things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
