Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
