I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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