plz talk dirty to me
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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