She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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