Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
