he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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