party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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