So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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