I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize