I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
3pm strippers are depressing
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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