We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Randomize
