you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
