Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Randomize
