Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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