he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
