wrigley field is MILF paradise
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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