"it" just moved
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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