the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
