I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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