after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
