Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Randomize
