dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
