Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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