Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
this must be what syphilis tastes like
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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